The Tales of Carmensakura

Things around me are just swirling. My mind is so filled with thoughts that I am just overwhelmed.  I sit in my classes and wonder, is all this worth it? Why do I bother?  Point is, I lack purpose. Why am I doing all that I do? Why, indeed?  The future is indeed unpredictable but it can be created. But the thing is, you can only create if you know the purpose of what you want to create. And right now, everything is just so questionable. So yea. If life was a movie or a book, then, you know that no matter what happens, there will be a happy ending (that is if your movie or book has a happy ending). Point is, you are reassured. But then again, life is not a movie or a book. Tragedies do happen for absolutely no reason.  Anyway, I'm just confused.  So yea. Anyhow, enjoy this song  "If this was a movie" by Taylor Swift.    

The past is beckoning? Anyhow, for some reason, I miss the past. It's odd. But it's alright because I keep reminding myself to move on. So yea.   Anyhow, today, I had met and talked to a few friends who I saw on the train. It was such a coincidence. Today, I went home with Lianne (who is also a really old friend). My class ended at 1pm but I had to wait for her since her class ends at 2pm. Anyway, on the way home via train, we saw Ser Qi. We talked about high school and how our crazy psychotic headmistress changed a lot of things after we graduated. Most of the thing shocked me. I mean, she's absolutely ruining my high school but whatever. However, I really do pity the current students there though.  Then, Ser Qi reached her station and left. Then, we saw Kamio Chikage. I mean, wow, meeting up with two old schoolmates in a day at the train?! What a coincidence! Seriously. We talked about stress, school and our future. Kamio also had no idea on what she wanted

Recently, on the radio, I heard some good public broadcast that tells people to not litter, smoke and etc. Anyhow, I heard one advising people not to get angry by holding their breath and counting to ten or thinking about cute things such as puppies. Listening to that really pissed me off. If anger was so easy to control or get rid off, wouldn't people get rid or control it by now? Well, obviously, it's not so easy. And do you really think that in the moment of rage, a person is going to hold his breath or think of puppies? So yea. I'm not saying it's impossible but I'm saying that it's hard. And do you really think that an angry person likes that they get angry easily? Don't you think they want to change to? If it were that simple, don't you think that the anger would be gone? So I find this advice pointless, stupid and demeaning. True, some people can control their anger better...but not all. And this applies to me. I snap more tha

I hate it when you have things to do and everything just clashes, messing up everything. It's like a ball of yarn that is all tangled up. I have A levels, IELTS (english exam) and DELF B1 (French exam). I have to do all of them by the end of this year and I'm trying so hard to make sure they don't clash with one another. Ugh.   And it doesn't help I have odd sudden urges that distracts me from my academic goals. Like, I want to watch movies. 50/50 Iron Lady I want to watch anime. Monster Guilty Crown Then, I have more odd emotions that makes me feel like I'm not living my life. It makes me think of random stuff such as : I want to go to Japan I want to go mountain climbing I want to go eat exotic food I want to travel the world I want to work I want money I want......fill in the blanks. So yea.   Point is, more random stuff that will get in the way of my academic goal. So right now, I'