The Tales of Carmensakura

So, my university life begins. And it's interesting.  One part of me is glad that it's starting and I'm excited because it's a new beginning. But another part of me, is a little sad actually because a new beginning means that something has ended. I thought that when my A-levels ended, I won't have to fight anymore. That it would be easier. But it's not. It's just going to get harder from here on. I thought that because I took A-levels, I would be more prepared and that everything would be alright. But the moment the classes started, I realized that I am prepared but not as prepared as I thought I was. That is when I realized, the road further on will be tough. It will be very tough. So apart of me wonders, if I can survive. Because A-levels has made me so weary. So can I survive this time? Will I be fine? Or will I finally break? But at the same time, because of A-levels, it has made me stronger. I did not survive A-levels for nothing. I

Next week, my classes will start for real. My university life will start for real. Hmm...no more messing around, no more chilling all day on the internet and no more doing nothing. I am going to miss all that. I am going to miss doing nothing. Or watching anime all day long. Or just surfing the internet. Oh well. I will have to work hard for my degree.  After all, it's going to start painting out my future and I decide that I want a nice one. So that means, I have to do my best. No more slacking. Well, let it begin.

Well, I just turned twenty. Yes, I'm old. Sighs.  Anyhow, it was quite nice as I celebrated with friends. They gave me pretty amazing presents. Chocolates, Starbucks card and food (Japanese food). So yea, I'm thankful. Thank you. It's nice to celebrate with friends.  Because in a way, it reminds me that I'm not alone. That I have friends that cares. It's sweet and I'm really thankful. Too bad, I don't have any pictures to show the celebration. But I have to say, they were pretty amazing because I was sincerely surprised and shocked. I mean, I didn't even know it was for my birthday.  So yea, it's a real surprise birthday party.  I was really surprised. So once again, thank you. Thank you to anyone who has been my friend. Thank you to anyone who wished me Happy Birthday. Even though, I'm 20 years old. I don't feel older or anything. I still feel like me. I guess, to me, getting older means improving

This week has been a crazy week, filled with emotions. One day, it was filled with confusion and doubts. The next day, it was filled with hope.  Then, it was filled with despair. Later, it was filled with clarity, relief and certainty. So, as you can tell, this week has been a roller coaster ride. Thankfully, I had friends by my side as I sat down to think, smile, cry or scream. Even if they didn't say anything, just knowing that they are by my side really helped me calm down. Even if all they said was, how was your day? Just knowing that they cared, helped. And talking helps too. At first, I thought that my life has fallen apart because my A-levels result was not what I wanted. But now, I'm beginning to realize that this is just the way the universe was putting everything in place for me. That even though this hurts, it is for my own good. It is for me. So, right now, I want to believe in the universe trying to help me. But the universe can only help you if y