The Tales of Carmensakura

I know I may regret this post for years to come.  Because if we aren't together anymore, then this will hurt. But right now, at this moment, this feeling is overwhelming me. And I felt too lazy to write it in my journal. So I decided to blog it here instead. I struck gold with you. Yes, you are gold, my love. It's insane. I never thought I would ever be with someone like you. I am lucky. And I am grateful for it. I always assumed most guys were playful. They were all in it for the fun. For the chase. I had friends like that so I thought most guys were this way. I had prepared myself to be played. I had prepared myself for a fickle love where they stayed because it was fun. But the moment things get rough, they leave. And I was fine with that. Because I would play too, just as they play me. I never thought of taking it seriously. I thought of just having a good time and enjoying myself. Then, you came. Swept me off my fe

Being vulnerable is sometimes difficult. A friend of mine said, being vulnerable with other people is sometimes difficult. But for me, that's not my problem. I am comfortable with being vulnerable with other people if I,myself, is comfortable with being vulnerable with myself. So obviously, my problem is being vulnerable with myself. I know some people might wonder why being vulnerable with myself is difficult. I suppose this has something to do. Although I understand that I'm very human and I'm absolutely flawed, it still hard to understand some of my own flaws. Because for me, being vulnerable with myself means looking at my fears.  What do I fear? And for a long time, I don't like acknowledging my fear. Because fear is an ugly emotion to me and it's something I was never fond of. So although I had loads of fear in the past, I prefer just being overdramatic and pretending that it doesn't exist. I prefer lying to myself, saying that I do