The Tales of Carmensakura

The exams is coming now and so, I panic a lot. But recently, my lecturers have been saying to us, it's alright. You can do this. You already have the knowledge.  Just show the examiners what you know. I find it brilliant how the lecturers can say that to us so calmly and with belief. How do they know that we can do this? What if we haven't put in enough effort? What if we been really lazy or stupid? Just how do you know that we can do it. I said none of this out loud to my lecturers. But one lecturer, for some reason, it was as if he could hear all our doubts and insecurities. He smiled at us sincerely as he said, "You can all really do this." He heard us snicker and sneered in disbelief. And he answered, "You don't trust in yourself enough. You don't believe in yourself enough." We were silenced. He told us how we can do this. How doing our best is what matters. How hoping isn't what we should be doing. How we should al

Yay, I just turned 21. That is how I should be feeling but in reality, I don't. Hahaha. I guess it's because the trials exam are on at the same time as my birthday. And so, it wasn't great to have my birthday during the trials. It doesn't help that on my birthday, it was the two papers that I most despised which was maths and stats. My maths and stats aren't so good. And doing those two papers was horrible. I think I might have failed those two papers but oh well. But I am very stressed because there is only 20+ days left to my real exams. My finals. And I am truly afraid. However, at least with the trials, it's practice for real exam. I get to learn where my mistakes are and do my best not to repeat it. Well, there is 20+ days left. LET'S DO THIS. WE CAN DO THIS. WE GOT THIS!!

April is here. It's the month of my birthday and for the longest time, I never quite liked that month. To me, it was just an ordinary month. I would have preferred it if my birthday was in May. I completely love that month. However, it's only recently that begun to love April. April is spring. And spring means renewal and rejuvenation. It's the start of something new. It's the beginning of life. And knowing that means a lot. It makes me appreciate April a lot more. Anyhow, knowing that I will be reaching my birthday have really made me think. I thought about life in general. And I realized that life is a fluid interesting thing. You have to let it go and just let it flow. But that is my biggest issue. I am still afraid. I still want to control. Funny thing is, in life, we have no control. We just do what we can. The rest, we let the universe handle it. So, I just really need to learn to trust it.