The Tales of Carmensakura

I thought all hope was lost and that once you are broken, you are always broken. No matter what you do, you cannot change the fact that you were broken before. And that is where you belong. However, just as I was about to believe this, hope came. It was as if the universe was trying to show me that being broken doesn't mean everything. That, yes, life sucks at times but this is life. Life is filled with both sweetness and bitterness. That is life. It was trying to show me that there is endless possibilities if I looked harder. It was trying to show me to hold on and yet let go at the same time. It was trying to tell me that I need to be flexible. Most of all, it was trying to say that life is a journey that goes on. So, it tells me to stop looking at the black hole of my life. Look forward instead. After all, that's where we are headed.

Well, the exams are getting closer but I am not getting anymore motivated. But I thought things through and I realized that it's probably I'm scared. I'm scared of trying so hard only to fail. That thought kills me and that fear paralyzes me. And that's the truth. But just as I thought everything was hopeless, the universe opens a door for me. It tells me that there is no end. It's all a journey. Where we end up, we won't quite know. And sometimes, we don't end up where we want to but that's ok. Just do your best and live life the best way you know how. Just try to have no regrets. Or least regrets. And that is all.

I was watching some anime this week and it made me wonder. Am I broken? Am I bitter now? Have I grown into a sad pathetic person? I don't quite know. I fell down. I watched my dreams disappear in front of my very eyes. But I would like to think that I moved on. But have I? I don't quite know. Did the me who believe dreams and possibilities died? I hope not. I mean, if I did, it's better to bury me because then, I have forgotten what matters. Yes, I don't have a grand plan anymore. Why? Because grand plans are overrated. Life can change course and everything changes. And you may never achieve that plan. But I don't quite know if I don't have grand plans because I know life is unpredictable or because I am afraid of failure. Pain changes a person. But I don't want it to make me bitter. But just because I don't have a plan doesn't mean it's a bad thing.  Because it also means that I am extremely flexible. Right no

Hello there. Recently, there has been water rationing so I only get water every two days. And it's hell. Having no water really sucks. It makes me a little crazy because you can't bathe, drink or go to the toilet freely. It makes me a little sad. My family is a family that really conserves water so we really don't deserve this but then again, my family is not the only family affected. There are many homes that are also affected by this. So yea. And there is haze in my place. Recently, it's not so bad. But last week, it was so bad. I felt like I was in the industrialization era with the horrible black smog. And it made me wonder about our polluted world. Water is a precious diminishing resource and the air is being polluted. It feels terrible that things are only going to get worse. But my classmate asked, what am I gonna do about this? I guess, I just have to do my best to live a good clean green life. Whether or not that helps, I do not know.