Chess

 

I just started watching the queen gambit on Netflix and it's about a girl who's a prodigy in chess. It makes me think a little because when I was younger, I was "good" at chess.

I was nowhere as good as Elizabeth Harmon but I think I was above average. I could defeat some players but once I hit a more serious player or a better player, I'd probably be stumped. 

This game was taught to me by someone at school. At that time, in my school, one of the parents was an international chess master. He was obviously obsessed with chess. He volunteer out of his own time to coach the chess club in my school. My school saw that this was something we could be good at, made every kid play chess and those were "good" would have to join the chess club.

So I joined the chess club.

I didn't particularly love it but I didn't hate it either.

My parents knew I was playing chess at the time. They didn't encourage nor did they discourage. They just let me be. 

So I played. And I was "good".

I'm not sure if I love the attention at the time because I was proclaimed as "good". But at the same time, I waited for when I stopped being good. I knew that I would eventually hit a wall. I would eventually stopped being good.

I'm not quite sure why I thought that way but I did.

Eventually, I quit chess but that was because my school did me wrong and I stopped in protest. 

But sometimes, I always go back to this moment and wonder.

I wonder what would happen if I didn't stop

Would I be proficient?

Would I be a competitive player?

Or would I be right?

Would I eventually, just stop being good at it one day and that'll make me quit?

I don't know the answers to it.

But since this was never really a true passion of mine, I always figured that I would one day just quit eventually. 

And my life would just eventually be this. I would eventually come to this.