The Farewell (2019)

 

I was watching The Farewell (2019) film and it made me feel alot of things. 

I both related and didn't relate to this movie. This movie was a surreal experience for me.

I am of immigrant and chinese descent. My great grandfather left China a long time ago. But I can't relate in that sense because my family is in the same country as I'm in. So I don't know what it's like to have family in another place while I am somewhere else. 

But I admit it must have been hard on our immigrant ancestors to leave home. To make that first step. It's unfortunate that for my family, we don't know much about our history. Personally, I wish to know more. Maybe one day, I'll search for it. It'll be nice to see our ancestral home. 

First of foremost, despite growing up in an Asian country where Asian values persist, I grew up with slightly leaning western thinking parents. Hence, I couldn't quite relate with my own culture as I growing up. It only got worst as I grow as I was treated like I was an outsider. I was treated like someone who wasn't "chinese" because I didn't speak the language. 

So as I grew, the culture identity was completely missing for me. I didn't care for it as it didn't care for me. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm still Chinese. That's what I am. But culturally, I don't understand it nor do I care for it. I know that, to many people, this is somewhat wrong. But it is what I feel nonetheless. 

But another part of the movie I couldn't relate I guess was having a loving grandmother. It was not something that I had. My mother parents were too old by the time I was a child. Not only that, they had plenty of other grandchildrens and they lived out of town so I didn't see them much and we didn't have much of a bond either.

As for my father parents, I only had a step grandmother. She wasn't kind to me so I don't think of her fondly. I did have an eccentric grandfather and he was the only one I could speak to and had some relationship. 

But the thing is, my grandfather is just like me in the sense that culturally, we didn't connect with our culture. So I know if what happened in the movie happened to us, we would have told him the truth. He wouldn't mind.

But what I think the movie got right is the family dynamics. It is very subtle but I see it. The parents relationship with Billi. The family bickering among each other slightly. I have seen that so often. As Chinese, I am aware that we care about "face" which only means, we care about putting on appearances. It was interesting to see. It's not something that I care about though.

They visited their late grandfather grave and had a wedding banquet. Watching that felt a little surreal. It's just interesting to see that, although, my family had left China so many years ago, we still practice that here. That it was somewhat the same. 

Unfortunately, it's not something that I care for. So I suppose, these traditions will end with me. 

But at the same time, I'm beginning to understand why we do them and their importance. I can respect that but it's not something that I will practice. 

Anyhow, the Eastern vs Western philosophy is not huge here. But I understand where each side is from. 

When I was younger, I would insist the Western philosophy of self first was superior but now that I'm older, I understand that community is just as important.

So now I'll just say, we need both. We need to balance both.

It's an interesting movie as it made me feel alot of things simply because of who I am and where I am from.