The Tales of Carmensakura

hey, I'm sorry that I didn't update my blog last week. I'm kinda busy nowadays. By the way, I joined a competition regarding stocks and shares. Everyone is given virtual money of $100,000 and is asked to trade. The person with the most profit wins. So I have been trying out the trial game, preparing for the real competition. AND OMG, it is seriously hard. ugh....I really wanna win that competition. But I don't think so because I have only been losing money. SIGH.

conflicting emotions. Yea, that's what I'm feeling right now. My emotions are confusing me. I'm feeling happy, angry, sad and many other in a single moment. So in a way, I don't really know what I'm feeling. I hate it when my emotions are all mixed up. sigh. Anyway, since my emotions are overwhelming right now, my mind decided to turn off my emotions. So it's weird. I know my emotions are everywhere however, I feel numbed. I can't feel it. It's so overwhelming that it numbs my mind. I feel like I'm another person watching over me. This is a weird post, I know. I am wondering why I am writing this post too. I'm just gonna go stare at something until this emotions go away.

Ok, I didn't literally mean babies. I'm too young to have real babies. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I have a new story in my head currently. I haven't created a new story for quite a while now. It doesn't help that I have quite a few older stories that I haven't really completed. I'm still figuring out the character development so that it fits the plot. So yea. I actually forgotten how it feels like to build a story from the start. The feeling is actually nice. I like creating everything from the beginning, starting from the plot down to the characters. Anyway, my new babies are Hayden Barker, Harold Barker and Xavier Barker. (Yup, it's a family.) Hayden Barker, he is a farmer's son who achieved greatness by being very talented and intelligent. He achieved wealth, status and wisdom. He is the great legend. (Hayden Barker) Then, we have Harold Barker, the failed son of Hayden Barker. People had great expectations of him because he is t...

Finally, I understood what people meant when they say that your dreams is your subconscious trying to figure out your problem so that you can stop suffering. Usually, I don't understand this because my dreams are just so random and don't usually link to me at all. In my dreams, I am usually someone else or simply in another world. So yea, I don't get how our dreams work to save ourselves. But I do now. Why? Because I had a dream that was so real and that dream was the solution to my what I feel nowadays. It kinda sucks to wake up, realizing that it was just a dream. That it is not reality. Recently, I've been feeling really sad and regretful. I only have one regret.....which is my beloved friend whom I lost due to my own temper and stupidity. I also realize that it is harder to erase a memory of someone in your mind because you may throw away all the things you shared with that person, but you can't erase the memory. You can't erase the ...