The Tales of Carmensakura

I just finished reading All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. And my, it made me think of so so many things. Where do I even begin? First and foremost, it reminded me of high school and youth. It's been a long time since I read a book that made me reflect about my own past as well because this book related to me. Let's start with high school and youth. The characters are young and are in high school. They reminded me of my time in high school. They reminded me of how high school is a mess. I wonder why puberty can be such a pain in the ass. Just like the characters, I have felt very strongly. Everything was so emotionally charged back then. High school to me, was bittersweet. I had good memories and bad memories. Just like Finch, I know what it's like to be called weird . Or a freak . So when those words echoed in the book, I could feel it cut through me. And suddenly, there I was again. 14 years old. Standing in my class. People saying those words. A...

I was just thinking of a rejection that I just got from companies regarding jobs and internships. Of course, it still stings a little. I think rejection will always sting a little to me. But no matter what happens, I tell myself to get up. To stand tall and fight again. Life will close doors in my face. I am aware of that. But I have to remind myself that when life does that, I have to search for the open windows. And if life shuts a door in my face, it just means that isn't the path I am meant to walk. I just have to find my path. If that takes a long time, I should still keep at it and never give up.  People and the world can reject me all they want. But I must never stop believing that I am great and worth it or that my time to shine is coming. Because those are all true.  I must never stop giving up. Because I been through storms before and I survived all of them. Not only did I survive, I come out of them, stronger and better every single time. Storms only built ...

Let me just warn you that this will be a rather long post. so yea. One of the anime that I am watching currently is Hanayamata.  Honestly, I didn't think that I would like this anime as much as I do right now. It's not a special show. It's the normal high school friendship anime where girls do what they love and in this case, dance a certain japanese dance. It's those friendship type of anime filled with cuteness and sweetness.  In the group, you have the shy reserved girl, the tsundere, the princess and the energetic annoying one. And for some reason watching this reminded me of high school. Personally, I am not a fan of high school but I don't quite hate it either. I just recognized that it was a part of my life. That's all. But this anime reminded of the good sweet memories of high school. It made me think of the good memories I had in high school and suddenly, I missed it. I miss my group of friends. The one that brought the light into my ...

I don't usually talk about TV series but for this time, I must. So please, forgive me. (This might be a very long post. So consider yourself warned.) Grey's Anatomy. It's has been running for 10 seasons. I started watching this series when I was 14. Now, I am 21. I been watching this series for 7 years. This series means a lot to me. When I was 14, I had a really rough time. And Grey's Anatomy was one of those things that helped me hold on. I remember when I used to rush home from school to catch this series on TV. When this series started, it blew my mind away. It was a series about a bunch of intern doctors and their lives.  But what mattered to me in this series were that the characters here were very human. They got mad, they cried, they laughed and they danced. Yes, there was a lot of sleeping around in this series but I pushed that to one corner because that was not what matters. What matters was that this characters were very real.  Their l...

I won't lie. There are days where I miss them immensely.  Who do I miss? A group of high school friends that accepted me for who I am, no matter how broken I was. I miss this particular group immensely because the group is now in pieces.  We were no where as close as what we were in the past. We may talk. Or some of us don't even talk. But it's not the same. What used to be close companionship was replaced by misunderstanding. And then, that was replaced by us simply moving on with our lives. And it makes me sad. I regret not appreciating those moments more. I regret taking them for granted. I regret ever hurting them. I mean, I understand and accept that this is the situation. But that doesn't mean I don't miss them. Because I do. And sometimes, I wish, so much, that we could return to those moments. However, as much as the group is in pieces, it doesn't mean that it will be in pieces forever. It can be f...

I was just wondering about the time in high school and how some of them were my darkest hours. Then, I realized that I almost forgotten how my darkest hours felt. And it's scary to know that I have somewhat forgotten these dark lonely moments felt. I vowed to myself, years ago, that I will always remember so that I will always know that darkness do exist and that it lurks in all of us. But I have almost forgotten these storms and how I survived them. And it makes me sad. But what makes me even more sad is that, I have no records of these dark moments. So, if I continue to forget these moments, I will have nothing in writing to remind me of these moments. My blog wasn't created yet when I was going through this periods. My diary was abandoned during this period. I didn't like talking or speaking about this period. So sadly, I will have no records of this period. A very important period of my life that showed me that I was survivor and at the same ti...

Christmas is coming.     Obviously, I'm in a Christmas mood~! For some reason, I feel like mailing my friends Christmas Cards. Maybe, it's my Christmas spirit talking or it's the Christmas mood?  So, for the last few days, I've been searching for my friends addresses. I lost my contact book....That means, I have to text, facebook or call my friends up for their addresses. I know that mailing is pretty lame. But you know what, I still think it's kinda great. Personally, I have never received any personal letters through the mail but once, I got a letter, confirming that I'm an organ donor. For some crazy reason, I was so HAPPY that I had a letter. For me, I love handwritten letters. In high school, I often wrote letters for my friends during their birthdays. And when I get a handwritten letter from them, I feel so happy.   I know e-cards do exist. So why should I mail real cards? Mailing cost money. You have to buy the cards, get envelopes an...