The Tales of Carmensakura

I definitely need a new goal I know this is my holiday. My last holiday because if all goes well, I graduate. I should be enjoying this last holiday. Unfortunately, I am not. It's odd. I'm just not doing anything except coming online every day or going out with friends occasionally. So I need a goal. To do something. Or else, I will remain really bored for a really really long time. I think I will make a list of what I want to do so that I can have a rough idea of what I want to do. To do list for the holidays. Write Read Learn to cook or bake Learn to drive again Right now, this is all I have in the list. I haven't done any of them yet but I think I should start soon. So yea. Let's have fun since this is my last holiday and all.

Well, summer is over. And it's time to start University again. Now, this is my third and final year. Honestly, my goal is to graduate by this academic year. How did I do in my year 2?  Well, it was better than my year 1 but it still fell slightly short from my intended goal. So this only means one thing, I am going all out on year 3. It's the final leg of the race and I have this one last shot. So I am just going to do my best and see where it takes me. I'm just going to work harder and smarter. I'll see where that takes me. I am getting all sort of bittersweet emotion with the start of my year 3. 1) This is my final year as an undergraduate student. This life that I have enjoyed as an undergraduate so far will come to an end soon. Then, I'll have to start focusing on real life such as jobs and careers. 2) Career. Everyone in my year is currently making plans. Some are considering post graduate studies and others are considering qualifications s...

I really wanted this summer to be the best summer ever. The most fascinating and fun one. Because honestly, everything seemed to be going my way. I had good friends, good food and everything. So it just seemed that everything would be all good. I wouldn't say I had a bad summer. It's just that I assume that everything would be sweet. But life would not let me have things all sweet. So it added a little saltiness for me. I don't think it's a bad thing to have a little saltiness. It's just adds to the taste of life and makes it more vibrant. Anyway, the saltiness is the hard part of my summer. And the only hard part about my summer is my internship.  To be honest, I expected it to be super awesome and amazing. I expected to love every single minute of it. But I didn't. Turns out, I am not a fan of the department that I'm interning in. If anything, it took all of my will to get up in the morning and go to work. I have not been so upset in a long l...

So many things in my life right now are new experiences. And with so many new experiences, you only learn more about yourself. It's never really about what happens externally but what happens internally. Because what will happen will happen. But what you do about it though is a different story. Funny thing is, I'm learning more about myself each day.  Some days feels like a struggle.  Other days don't feel too bad. But there is ups and downs. Like I will be honest, my internship has been hard on me. Personally, there are moments where I prefer to be dead than to be it. So I will admit that I am entertaining the thoughts of quitting. Whether or not I will quit for real, that is a different story. I know many will call me a crybaby for being a whiny piece of shit. Maybe I am. Maybe I am not. I do not know. But do not judge me. My feelings are valid and that is what matters. But I been in a bad mood lately.  So things haven't been great. ...

I am not sure if I'll ever regret this post. But I guess I'll post it anyway. Be warned though. It might get really lovey dovey because this is a post about love. And it might be long too. haha. I fell in love and I am in a relationship right now. It's funny actually how it all happened. It was a little insane. And the funny thing is, this was all completely unexpected. I did not see it coming at all. It just swept from under my feet and the next thing I know is that I am already tumbling into fate's plan. When I first met him, all I know is that I didn't know how important he would be. People always say that you would know immediately when you meet significant other.Did I know? Yes and no, I guess. People talk about that electric zing that they had. But for me, it was not something like that at all. If anything, it was a little odd. Even when I first met him, I felt comfortable. Very comfortable. It was as if I found home. A home that I didn't know e...

I guess this is where you can say being an intern in a small firm is good. The reason for this is because they actually make you do real things. As an intern, I was expecting to be the coffee carrier, file arranger and photostating person. But to my surprise, I am actually auditing right now. I know I am in the audit department but I didn't expect to actually audit. Well, they give me the easier companies to do. Nonetheless, it's still complicated because I have never audited before. So all this is really really new to me. I guess being an intern is challenging because you are staring at unfamilliar things and they expect you to know and do things. But I'm just staring at it and going, ummm....now, what? I would prefer preparing the whole accounts by scratch than to audit because it's actually very complicated and tedious. But the good thing about being an intern is that I am definitely challenging myself. Personally, I admit that I am a person who has a...

One week of internship has passed. And how was it? I have always heard people say to me, Carmen oh Carmen, what do you know? Working life is hard. Harder than you think. Maybe I can't say much yet because it has only been my first week. But is working hard? Is it as unbearable as some people make it out to be? I am in a small accounting firm. Most people say that being an accountant is the most boring thing ever. Well, what do I say to this? I say that it's bullshit. Work is hard because there are things that you actually have to do and it actually requires effort. But mostly, it's because I miss having my time to myself. And now, my time belongs to the firm and I can't do what I like such as napping or going online. But at the same time, I feel productive. Like I am actually doing something important that helps out. I am only an intern so I don't really get to do the big important stuff. I am just given simple tasks that most people don't ...

In a way, my holiday is ending. Well, it's not because my school is starting. But it's because I have internship and internship is working. During our school period, a few of my classmates started planning for their three months break. A few of them were talking about internships and honestly, it wasn't a bad idea.  There were also other things that was being thrown around such as travelling and summer schools. All of which aren't bad at all. I was really torn between summer schools and internships. Sadly, summer schools was way too expensive so instantly, I had to choose internships. I thought an internship would look good on my resume.  I applied to big firms and I got rejected by a few of them while some of my classmates got accepted. It kinda sucks getting rejected but I suppose that is apart of life.  I should be used to rejections by now but it still hurts. But luckily for me, my dad knows people who owns small accounting firms so I ended up gett...

I haven't had a bad hair day in a long time. And funnily enough, today, I had a bad hair day. By bad hair day, I mean, it's a day where nothing goes right. Today, I just ended up wasting time and being absolutely mad.  And just I thought I could run away and forget it by going back home, guess what happened. There was no electricity. So I ended up sitting in the heat, fanning myself, wondering why this is happening. SIGHSSSS. Oh well, I guess bad hair days are real. But thankfully, the electricity is back.

Adam Lambert. He is one of my favourite musicians. His music has always been fun for me and I always enjoyed listening to him. That is why I was so glad to find out that he just put out a new album recently. It's been so long since I heard from him. I was actually worried that he left the music industry or something. But fortunately, that's not true because he just released an album recently. His latest album is called The Original High. I just streamed the whole thing on Spotify recently, wondering if this album would be to my liking. I think Adam Lambert is pretty versatile. He started out with a glam rock sort of album and now, he's doing this james dean ethereal sort of album. In a way, it's a different direction. However, luckily for me, I have always loved ethereal themed albums. So do I like this album? Yes, I do. I love it very much. It reminds me of Lana Del Rey. However, it's not as good as Lana Del Rey's. However, it's good for e...

It would be almost a week since my exams ended. And I just realized that I don't really have a plan for my summer break yet.  Nothing wrong with that. But personally, I want to put this time to good use. Or rather, I don't want to regret this time. So far, I have not done much but meet up with some good old friends and talk. I have not really watched anything or read anything. So in a way, I haven't really done anything.  And yet, it would almost be a week since my exam ended. Not that I mind actually, but it just feels that time moves so fast. Just relaxing, being glad that there isn't a schedule or worry anymore makes the days pass by rather fast. I know that I want to write and read.  I know that I want to watch some anime and TV. Maybe, I want to work on my french and spanish. But other than that, I am not sure. Do I want to pick up the violin again? Do I want to learn how to bake or cook? Or do I not want to that? Do I try to learn codin...

A friend sent me this song to listen to and I did. And for some odd reason, I connected with this song at certain parts. I understand that this is real life and sometimes, this overwhelms me. I understand what it feels like to feel like you are gonna break. To be staring in the abyss and to feel like you are cracking. I know what it is like to be in a really dark place. I remember what storms feel like and it was just so easy to give up. But I didn't. And thank god. I do know what it was like to feel like I was nothing but now, I feel like, my life is dream. In a way, I am so grateful for everything. For everything that has ever happened. The good and the bad. I am not saying that my life is perfect. It isn't. But I am so far away from where I used to be. And my life is only gonna get better. I also know that dreams are hard work. I know that you will have to struggle for your dreams sometimes. And sometimes, you don't even get it in the end. But that...

MY EXAMS JUST ENDED. SO GUESS WHO HAS FREEDOM CURRENTLY. YES, ME. Anyway, since I haven't blogged in a while, I am going to blog to cover up for the posts that I miss in the past.  So the summer break has started for me. I can feel that this summer will be a great one for me. No matter what happens, I know I'll most probably enjoy it. Honestly, I don't really have a plan for the summer break yet. I am still very open. It's funny though. Before the exams and during the exams, all I wanted to do was write or watch things or even read. But now that it's over, I am not quite sure what to do. I find it interesting that a lot of people are surprised that I do not have a plan for this summer break. Is it weird to not have a plan? Personally, I think being open is good. That way, you can be whirled away to any journey quickly. Plus, the best things in life are usually the most simple and random things. So might as well keep it open.

Let me just warn you that this will be a rather long post. so yea. One of the anime that I am watching currently is Hanayamata.  Honestly, I didn't think that I would like this anime as much as I do right now. It's not a special show. It's the normal high school friendship anime where girls do what they love and in this case, dance a certain japanese dance. It's those friendship type of anime filled with cuteness and sweetness.  In the group, you have the shy reserved girl, the tsundere, the princess and the energetic annoying one. And for some reason watching this reminded me of high school. Personally, I am not a fan of high school but I don't quite hate it either. I just recognized that it was a part of my life. That's all. But this anime reminded of the good sweet memories of high school. It made me think of the good memories I had in high school and suddenly, I missed it. I miss my group of friends. The one that brought the light into my ...

Yesterday, I attended a friend's graduation ceremony.  CONGRATULATION TO MY FRIEND. Anyhow, it was nice watching other people graduate.  Seeing them so happy made me happy too. All the graduates had a certain glow to them and for some reason, it made me think of my own graduation.  Honestly, my graduation is a very very long way away.  I just finished my first year and I am only going to start my second year soon. So it'll take a while before I graduate. But honestly, I think I would enjoy my graduation. The feeling of accomplishment. The ability to say, I DID IT.  The feeling of pride. To know that you are a whole different person now compared to when you started the course. To know that you are a more mature and wiser person.  So yea. To be honest, I can't wait for my graduation. But for now, I just have to get prepared to start my year 2.

My exam results are out. Honestly, I am just glad that I don't have to repeat year 1 and that I can safely move onto year 2. My grades for year 1 were very very average. But that's alright. It doesn't mean that I can't get first class honours. It just mean that I have to ace my year 2 and year 3.  And that is exactly what I plan to do. As long as you are still in the race, you can still win. And right now, that is what matters. The fact that I am still in the race. The fact that I don't have to waste a whole year repeating year 1. So yea. I had a good rest this summer and so, when the summer break ends, it's time to get up and start moving. I am feeling pumped up and motivated to go to year 2. HELL YEA~!

It's August now. That means my results are about to come out soon and my summer break is about to end soon. I will start university soon again in September. It kinda makes me sad because I really enjoyed this summer. It was really nice to have a few months to yourself where you can just flat out relax and do whatever you want to. So I spend my time with my one of my most favourite thing ever. Stories. I spend a lot of time reading, writing and watching stuff. And it was fun. Honestly, I wish I had more time to do that because there are still quite a few books that I haven't finished and a few other stuff that I haven't watched. I know that to most people my summer break would sound boring but it wasn't to me. I really just like the idea of relaxing before starting to work hard again. At least, when university starts again this year, I can say that I am well rested and I am ready for the challenge. 

I really got nothing to say right now. Except that anime is freaking awesome this season. I haven't been this happy or excited in a long long time. OH MY GOD, JUST YESSSSS TO ALL OF THE ANIME. Enough of that, I'll put in a funny video or two here for your enjoyment. Here's Weird Al's latest works. ENJOY :

I know that they aren't called polaroids anymore. But that's what I call them. So yea. Anyhow, a few days ago, I was celebrating my friend's birthday with some other friends. And we had a polaroid camera. They took several pictures. In the end, they had a whole bunch of pictures and we ended up, splitting it, taking whichever we want. So that means, I get to keep one picture. Personally, I wouldn't understand why would anyone want a polaroid picture in this day and age when you have camera phones. I mean, it's so easy with a camera phone and you can upload it real quick on the internet. Plus, you can share with your friends so in the end, everyone gets a copy. And you don't have to pay for film. But now that I have a copy, I stare at it every once in a while. When we were taking the pictures, the polaroid camera had a really bright flash that blinded everyone. But this bright flash created a really nice effect to the pictures. It was really ...

I was hanging out with some friends the other day and we were talking. A friend loves photography and thus believes having a professional camera makes a photographer better. But another friend argued that the phone camera's quality are so good now that they can rival professional camera's. The photography friend got a little mad, stating that there is a difference taking pictures with professional camera and phone camera. That professional camera has a better feel to it. I thought about it. And for some reason, it made me think of writing. There are writers who love the typewriter because it has a really vintage cool feel to it. There are writers who love the computers or laptop because it's easy. There are writers who love pen and paper because you can feel yourself work and you can see the words really coming together. There are writers who love writing on their phones because they are busy and it's convenient. But which apparatus makes a writer b...