The Tales of Carmensakura

This is about what I feel regarding money. Hence this is going to be a long and rather personal post. Disclaimer, this are just my thoughts. There's no right or wrong when it comes to this kind of things. Money. Let's be real. I have alot of emotions attached to it. I even majored in something related to money because I was just so curious.  Thanks to what I studied, I understood how the financial system work and why it was created. Learning about it gave me the illusion that I understood it. It also made me think that I was rational when it came to money. But the reality wasn't true and it also took time for me to figure that out. When I got my first job and handled my own finances, I took pride in doing it right. I tracked my expenses and I even have a spreadsheet of my bank accounts. I knew where my money was and what I did with it. (Not that I had much. Haha) The thing that mattered was that I was doing all the right things. But despite doing these things, it di...

Just when things keeps going up and I think it was impossible for things to a turn that I didn't like. And it just did. Maybe this is a lesson to me, that no matter how much you grow, mistakes will still be made.  But for me, I am just disappointed in myself. This mistakes feels like I'm back to square one. It's as if all the progress have been wiped out. It's feels like I'm back there.  I know that I will always struggle with expression and holding my tongue. That will always be a problem of mine. Maybe it's a mistake to even use a social media device as a place to unload all your thoughts. I have always done it and it has caused some problems for me even in the past.  But I guess, like people said, bad habits die hard. Especially when you start to rely on it to allow yourself to sort out your own thoughts or to let it go. I am aware that I will have to accept and live with the consequences. I get that. But I am just severely disappointed with my...