The Tales of Carmensakura

I spent the last year, trying to figure what I want, career wise. I spent the last year, trying to accept the fact that my university days are gone. I spent the last year, in my head, trying to figure out the direction of my life. Thus, all of this meant, I closed the doors and went inside my head. I stayed inside. I shut off my extrovertedness. I thought and thought alot. Whether or not they mattered, that was a totally different thing. I am aware that I wasted a fair amount of time, thinking. But I don't quite mind. This is my journey. My life. And if I need some time looking at the blueprint, then yes, I will look at the blueprint and see how I want to build it. I do admit that I also wasted alot of time trying to reset my mind because I kept comparing or felt inferior or just frustrated in general. But it's who I am. And I just gotta work on it. I just started my new job last week. And you can tell they want people who shine. Being in my head for the...

It's been a month since I started work officially.  I don't hate my job. But I am not sure if I love it either. Do I enjoy it? Yes, but that's because the environment is nice. People there are nice and friendly. The office is nice. So yea. I am still not sure what kind of job I want. But I realise that I want a job that allows me to think. Apparently, I like to use my brains. Mundane routine things aren't quite my things actually. Can I do it? Yes. But do I want to? Not really. But surprisingly, I find myself enthusiastic currently in my life.  I like the idea of being able to handle my own expenses. I like the idea of being able to live my own life. I like the idea that I am starting the journey of my life. For me, I believe this is the time to start planning and going out to live the life you want. I believe that this is the time to plan and then to grind for the life you want. This is the time to put the effort. This is the time to work. This is ...

I realize that I have a hard time with endings. Why do I say that? Well, I am now in year 3. This is my final year as an undergraduate student if all goes well. And I must admit, I been feeling rather sad. The reason for this is because I know I will miss all of this. Every single thing and moment. I will miss my crazy year 1 where I nearly had a break down. I will miss all the crazy fun moments I have with my classmates. I will miss my calmer hardworking year 2. For me, my undergraduate years have been one of the best times of my life. I feel like I am alive and I feel so glad to be alive.  For once in my life, I don't want time to pass so fast. I want to enjoy every single moment. But sadly, time moves onwards, waiting for no one. For me, these years, it felt like the summer of my life. Wind in my hair, sun on my skin and the cold wind on my skin. It has been exhilarating so far. And everything has been wonderful despite the good and bad times. And I kn...

Well, summer is over. And it's time to start University again. Now, this is my third and final year. Honestly, my goal is to graduate by this academic year. How did I do in my year 2?  Well, it was better than my year 1 but it still fell slightly short from my intended goal. So this only means one thing, I am going all out on year 3. It's the final leg of the race and I have this one last shot. So I am just going to do my best and see where it takes me. I'm just going to work harder and smarter. I'll see where that takes me. I am getting all sort of bittersweet emotion with the start of my year 3. 1) This is my final year as an undergraduate student. This life that I have enjoyed as an undergraduate so far will come to an end soon. Then, I'll have to start focusing on real life such as jobs and careers. 2) Career. Everyone in my year is currently making plans. Some are considering post graduate studies and others are considering qualifications s...

So, my university life begins. And it's interesting.  One part of me is glad that it's starting and I'm excited because it's a new beginning. But another part of me, is a little sad actually because a new beginning means that something has ended. I thought that when my A-levels ended, I won't have to fight anymore. That it would be easier. But it's not. It's just going to get harder from here on. I thought that because I took A-levels, I would be more prepared and that everything would be alright. But the moment the classes started, I realized that I am prepared but not as prepared as I thought I was. That is when I realized, the road further on will be tough. It will be very tough. So apart of me wonders, if I can survive. Because A-levels has made me so weary. So can I survive this time? Will I be fine? Or will I finally break? But at the same time, because of A-levels, it has made me stronger. I did not survive A-levels for nothing. I ...

Sorry for the late greetings but HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY! Hope 2011 will be great for everyone. Anyhow, it's a new year, a new beginning. What are my plans for 2011? Well, I'm not too sure yet... I'm just gonna take it easy and have fun. Life is meant to be enjoyed anyways. But right now, I have french intensive classes from Tuesdays to Fridays. (9.30am - 12.15pm) So yea, I guess it still feels like I am going to school. After February, I plan to learn how to drive & get braces. Then in May, it's off to college for A'levels !! I would like to get a job but my parents think that I'll have no time for my french if I get a job. Therefore, I will be jobless for now! And currently, I'm just so excited & thirsty for life! I look forward to waking up every morning. I'm just happy. Anyway, I'm glad 2010 is over. It's definately not my best year but it was a pretty alright year nonetheless. Learnt alot from the year 2010 (eventhough, 2010 was...