The Tales of Carmensakura

Yea, it's been a long time since I updated this blog and I apologise. Anyway, it's 2020. When I was a kid, I used to think this was long time into the future. But alas, my maths suck and in reality, it isn't that long. Honestly, 2019 was a shitty ass year for me. So I'm really hoping for 2020 to be alot better. I think with my age catching up. (3 more years to the big 30) , I feel pressured. I feel as if, I'm not enough. Not rich enough. Not smart enough. Not successful enough.  This pressure feels terrible. And it was the main reason why I felt so restless in 2019. It was also a huge reason why I ended up doing nothing. Paralyzed by the pressure that overwhelms me. And that's why I intend to start 2020 better. January has ended.  And so far, I think I started off alright. Not great but it was alot better compared to last year. To be honest, there's alot of thoughts going in my mind and I just need to figure that out as well....

Honestly, 2019 wasn't that great a year for me. It started out badly.  But it didn't help that emotionally, I was all over the place. It took time for me to figure it out and to deal with it. I actually failed to achieve almost all of my new year resolution this year. A rare thing really since I been managing to achieve my new resolution for a few years now. That sense of failure and disappointment wasn't easy for me to deal with it. But slowly, I dealt with it and worked through it. The past few years has been great for me.  So now, I'm having a not so good year and it's only fair. In life, you can't always just have all good and no bad. It's always a mix. The crazy thing is, my emotional turmoil was somewhat created by myself. It was because I was just self critical and being a young person, I guess I also didn't know what I want in life. For some reason, I was pressuring myself to know when I clearly didn't know. Yea, it...

Since I don't really have much to say right now. Here, enjoy a random draft extract from a new story that my brain recently created. It's a story about Kei, a drifter or rather a traveller with her talking pet wolf-dog named, Nigel. (ps : I also included this in my stories section.) The Drifter (Draft Extract 1) She sat in the meadow, her bike standing next to the pole. She slowly bit her last sandwich. Nigel, her pet wolf-dog, glared at her, "Hey, I'm hungry too." "You eat way too much. We ran out of food for you." "That's why we have to go to the next country immediately." She looked straight ahead and saw a sign that stated 'Erojia.' She frowned. The thought of going back there scared her. "I don't want to go to Erojia." "We have no choice. We will die of hunger if we don't." Nigel barked at her. She grunted.  Nigel sighed. "Kei, you have to face your past. One day or ano...