The Tales of Carmensakura

I watched a few anime and it got me thinking. Ano hi mita durarara! Baccano! From the anime, it showed that everyone has a secret. Frankly, I'm not surprised. However, it is another thing that got me thinking. Change going down the drain. What do I mean? I watched Ano hi mita and it showed me that when you meet someone of your past, all the change that you have been working on just disappears. In the anime, a bunch of friends meet up a few years later and all of them have changed. They were no longer what they were in the past. But when they hung with each other for quite a while, they learnt that they weren't so different now as they were in the past. It was as if, they went back to the past. I wonder why that happens. Why do change disintegrate when you meet someone from your past? I'm sure that is true. When I meet up with my friends that I had since I was a kid, I feel like I'm 12 again. It's odd yet it happens. Anyhow, I...

You will be 19 this year. Well, that scared the shit out of me.  WHY? Well, it proved that everything is changing and I am growing up. It also made me wonder, how the hell did time just pass so fast? Change. Growing up. Suddenly, a part of me was afraid. Afraid of change and growing up. I just wanted to stay young. I wanted the past again. I wanted to be in high school and laughing away with my bunch of friends, crazily and innocently.  I didn't want to be 19. I didn't feel 19. 19 meant that I'm a young adult. Well, frankly, I don't feel that way. I feel 16, 17 or 18.  I can feel that change is coming. I can feel it's whirring power and I guess, I'm kinda afraid of what will happen. After all, we all don't know what the future brings. We rather have the past. It's something that we are familiar with. Even if the past wasn't great, at least, it was something that we know. The unknown is always scary. And for a moment, I near...

The weather is getting pretty hot so I decided to cut my hair. And it turned out quite horrible.  Ugh. Right now, my hair is so short that I need to use a clip to clip up the fringe or else I'll look like some weird creature. From a cool bob punk hair style cut : My hair was something like this. To a cute-ish short hair style cut. My hair has to be clipped at the side now. I know you're probably thinking, cute hair cut ? What is wrong with that? Well, me being "cute" isn't what I want. I want to look rock-ish and cool! And since I wear a basic tee and jeans to college everyday, a cute haircut just doesn't go well. Plus, me looking cute is kinda weird. I mean, it doesn't fit my personality. I have hardly ever been the cute one. I'm more likely the one with a bad temper or the sarcastic one. So yea. Cute??  So not in my vocabulary and personality. Now, I have to wait a while before my hair gr...

The first week of college just passed and ugh.....it was terrible. It's just the first week and I'm feeling super stressed out because the pace is just way too fast.  Maybe, the pace seems fast because I'm still used to the slow, relaxing holiday pace.      Well, the holidays is over. Looks like I have to buck up and work hard. I have to keep up with the pace or better, I have to move faster than this pace so that I'll be ahead~! It doesn't help that I have a 2 major exams this year and 2 other language exams. So yea~!  And the nearest one is in May. SO YEA, I have to start working hard~!