The Tales of Carmensakura

So I just finished rereading one of my favourite stories from my favourite storyteller. And it was an amazing read because it was heartbreaking, thought provoking, logic bending and heart warming. All in all, a masterpiece.  Like any story. It made me think about life and receive meaningful lessons. It reminded me that destiny do exists. That things do happen for a reason. Hitsuzen. Or rather, inevitability. Even though destiny exists, it doesn't mean that it cannot be changed. It can be changed. (oh, by the way, manga's are read from left to right.) Destiny may exists but the future has not been ordained yet. And the only thing that create our future are our choices that we make in the present. It also reminds me that in life, we only can do what we can do and what we want to do. Therefore, we shouldn't worry so much. Just do what you can. Just do what you want. But you must ask yourself, what do you want to do?  And that's...

I read on two of my friend's blogs about writing essays in high school. (oh, you know who you are. LOL) And it made me want to write about my own essays in high school. I enjoyed writing so much. It was fun. Creating worlds and characters that didn't exist. It was like walking into a whole different world where you were the god. Everything was your whim and fancy. Creating characters just to kill them off. (I know I'm a cruel person. LOL) Weaving plots together. Creating whole new worlds up. It was just incredible. I loved writing so much. And as a student, there was a lot of essays to write in high school. Honestly, even though my essays were good, my teachers hated them. Why? Because my stories were not happy, clean or filled with moral values. I liked putting death, torture and despair in my stories. My teachers would frown and tell me to stop. And I would laugh, saying no. I remember, at that time, my favourite was writing about ...

Here I am, standing at the cross road of life. Every decision I make will help create my future. Good and bad. Who doesn't want a good future? Who doesn't want to be happy? But this is the thing. To get what you want, you have to fight and sacrifice. And sometimes, in the end, you won't even get what you want. I'm young. So young. I still haven't seen much or felt much. Yet, my future rest on my shoulders now. My decision making right now isn't too great. For I am still young. Yet, it is now that I have to decide. Sad thing is, I'm selfish and greedy. I want everything that I can attain. I want everything. And I won't be satisfied until I have it all. But sadly, sometimes the world won't gives us everything. Oh well.  I will do my best and we'll just see how life turns out. C'est la vie.

Doubt and Trust by access. That song was probably not necessary but I wanted it to be there. It's probably one of my favourite songs and it popped up immediately when I thought about doubts. My friend, Min was right. Doubts are bad. They corrode us.  They chip us away, bit by bit. And that's no good. But we are humans. We will have our worries. We will have our doubts. But once again, she was right. Think, by all means, before you make your decision. But after that, don't doubt it. Just go into it with all your heart. Because,  if you doubt, that is the only thing stopping you. Meaning, you are only stopping yourself. I'm so proud of Min and how she found this wisdom. It amazes me. How I couldn't see that, maybe, it was my doubts that caused me to fall hard. And she could. I'm glad that she shared that with me. So no more doubts. Yes, once in a while, we will doubt. But I will not let it ruin me anymore. I want to trust myself...

This video made me think about passion. In a way, Nicholas Tse was right.  You have to be honest to yourself to find your passion. And that made me think. I chose to study Economics for my degree. Yes, I like it.  Yes, I'm good at it.  But is it my passion? Like he said, when you have passion, you are willing to sacrifice anything for it. That's just how bad you want it. And because sacrifices will happen, when it happen, will you give up or still fight for it? It's because of passion, you will hold on to it with all your might. So, will I be able to hold on with all my might? I mean, my course is quite tough. Since 2005, there has only been 5 students who managed to achieve first class honors. So, will I be able to get first class honors? Or will I give up? And then, two other thoughts appear. I love writing and helping people. I want to do that too. And because Nicholas Tse made it sound like we can only have one passion, I thought I mus...