I know what I want.

Clannad After Story gave me a slap in my face. And I found out that I have no reason to be upset or unhappy.



Clannad made me realise that I shouldn't be upset instead rejoice about everything I have in life. Not only that, it really motivated me. Look, I was about to give up. At that moment, I believed that winners and losers are borned. And IF you ain't born special, forget it. For a moment, I believed that.

UNTIL, I watched Clannad and realise that I do not deserve to be unhappy.

Recently, I was feeling upset because I was thinking about the past or comparing myself with those talented people who seem to have it all. And I thought to myself, didn't I used to be one of these talented people??
When I was 12, I was a public speaker, main choral speaker, choir member, pretty damn good chess player, got good school grades and I was happy. Isn't that just the perfect girl? (Well, perfection doesn't exist. So wasn't I almost perfect?)



THEN, what happened? Soon, I'm in high school and I pretty much a bum. I am not a athlete, didn't get good grades, skipped club activity, didn't join much activities. I was pretty much fooling around in school. When the school had activities that required everyone's participation, I would normally skip school and not joining it, claiming that I have a life.



Soon, I felt upset with myself, wondering how I screwed up my life. How could I become so lame in just 4 years? Then, I watched Clannad and realised how pathetic I was.
Why am I thinking about the past, regretting about things I cannot change?
Now, all I can do is to work hard so that my dreams and goals will be achieved.

So now, my mind has been refocused. I know what I want. And I will achieve it, doing whatever it takes.

I will graduate next year, so I still have a year to change the situation. I still have some time and this time, I will get it right. And I'll stay true to myself, never forgetting the true reasons of my goals and actions.