Love...

I know this post is a little late...I was quite busy lately so I apologize for this late post.
I was watching Clannad ~After Story~ and that show really made me cry & sob. I have never done that while watching a show. That show main theme is definately LOVE.



This show is about this delinquent bum named Tomoya Okazaki who meets a girl name Nagisa Furukawa. They became friends and later, they fell in love with each other. Akio and Sanae (Nagisa parents) even allowed him to stay in their house while he was going through a rough patch with his dad. His dad is a alcoholic and Tomoya doesn't have mother because she died when Tomoya was a kid.
After they graduate, Tomoya and Nagisa got married. Nagisa was soon pregnant and because she had a weak body, she died while giving birth to Ushio. Tomoya got depressed and gave his daughter to Akio and Sanae. When he finally got the guts to raise her up, she falls sick and dies.

If that isn't sad, then, I don't know what is.

This show had many father-daughter relationship and that really hit home for me. It reminded me of my father and I. Well, unlike Ushio, my mother is alive and I'm quite healthy but I am closer to my dad. When I was younger, my dad is the one who will stay home and look after me while my mum goes to work. (my mom works super late last time. My dad will come home by 6.)



There were several episode that really reminded me of my dad and I. Like when, Akio told Tomoya about how he carried Nagisa in his arms, running, trying to safe her. He was also praying for her health.

I remember one time when my father brought me to a dinner party with him. Suddenly, I had a really bad stomachache. It was so painful that I remember rolling on the floor. My dad actually carried me & drove me home. He left the dinner party immediately without any hesitation. When he carried me, I remember the pale shocked face he had.
So when my stomachache finally eased after 2 hours, I apologize to my dad about being a trouble to him. He just ignored those words and pat my head, asking if I feel better.

In Clannad After Story, Tomoya carried Ushio this way and Ushio was so happy. I remember when my dad carried me this way. He always carry me when we went to the circus or funfair. It feels so long ago but I remember that I felt safe when he did this. I felt strong and that nothing could hurt me. Even though, my dad wasn't the tallest man in the world. I felt like the tallest and strongest thing in the world.



When Tomoya knew his wife was pregnant, he worked even harder because now, he realise that he had to support himself, his wife and their child. He didn't find that to be a burden instead, it became his motivation.

I never realise what a child meant to their parents. I always thought that I was trouble to my parents. I never knew that parents look forward to their child's birth. I felt guilty for ruining my parents dreams but what I didn't know is that a child is the parents dream. Our dream is their dream.

Even though, my parents told me that it was not my fault. I felt guilty. But after watching Clannad After Story, I realise all this.

No man lives on their own. They are being supported while supporting people around them. I promise that I will now work hard. For myself, for my parents and for people whose dreams were never realised.

Mum and Dad,
Thanks for just being there for me.
I love you.