busy, busy, busy.

Well, school started and it's only one month in but it's been getting really busy.

Yes, I been busy.
I just hate it how people assume I am free or that my course is easier because I am taking something related to finance and that my course has no assignments.
Guess what, they are wrong.
This course isn't easy.
Seriously, the next idiot who says that about my course will get a textbook thrown at them.

There is alot of reading and understanding involved in my course. So, that takes time.

I been a little stressed because I feel that :
1) I don't have enough time ever
2) I am taking a long time to read and understand the subject matter
3) I feel stupid compared to my other classmates.

I'm beginning to find that the worse enemy is yourself.

Because I am feeling stressed and frustrated due to the fact that I feel that I am not good enough or that I am not doing enough.

And sincerely, I need to stop.

Because these emotions won't be helpful for me. They just make me feel stressed and sad.


I need to seriously calm down.

I need to seriously stop being so hard with myself.

There's nothing wrong with working hard but I shouldn't make myself feel bad by feeling like I am behind.

Because I am not behind.


I just need to focus on my studies and just put all these emotions behind.
I just need to realize that everything is going to be alright.
I just need to be kinder to myself.

So from today onwards, I am banning myself for calling myself stupid, lazy or any bad words that could potentially upset me.
I am just not going to say anything bad about myself.
If anything, I am going to just say positive things like stay calm or you can do it.

So yea.

A lecturer once told me, this is not a sprint. This is a marathon. You'll need to learn to pace yourself.
And guess what, I think he is right.