The Tales of Carmensakura

Recently, I been getting ideas and inspirations for my stories. Eventhough the timing is bad because I get these ideas at work, I am not the type of person who reject ideas. My biggest fear as a writer has always been running out of ideas. So whenever, I have a steady stream of ideas, I am very happy. I been trying to get my ideas out. It's hard to explain my creative process as a writer. My stories are usually fueled by the characters. So my characters are very important to me. My characters are usually born from emotions. So my inspiration are usually from emotions. I get these emotions randomly. Sometimes through songs, sometimes random thoughts or books or movies. I usually have to process these emotions. Put them into a character or see which emotion fit which character. Then, from that, the characters will react to the emotions, creating the scenes. So for my stories, it is completely fueled by emotions. I know it sounds complicated. But that's my ...

I was frustrated with my career recently. Not because my job sucks. But because I was still wondering what it is that I wanted. Although I am still figuring that out. I decided that I would do my best in my job. Until December. But when December comes, then, I will decide again. Because I want to give this job time. I wanna give this a chance. So for now, this is my decision.

I may live to regret this post. Or I may not. I generally do not talk about my love life. It's something I keep really quiet and tight on. Only a few know.  Very tiny few.  But I'm writing this because this because we reached a point in our relationship. And I think it's a pretty important point. It's been a year and a few months since we been together officially. And right now, I think we reached a really comfortable point. We know each other much better now. So in a way, we kinda reached that point where we can finish each other sentences. Point is, we are very comfortable with each other. I enjoy the fact that I can turn to him and talk to him about everything under the sun. We tease, discuss and rebut each other points. And it's just fun to be looking at someone and going, did you just become a good friend?  And it's just great to have the person you love as your good friend. I'm just glad. I don't say best friend because...

I'm not gonna lie. Patience is something that I have always struggled with.  I don't do well with waiting. But as time has passes, I learnt that good things come to those who wait. I do admit though, waiting is probably one of the hardest things to do. Like currently, I am working in a job. I am not sure if this is the job I want. But then again, I am not sure what is it I want. I know I should be patient. I should give myself time. Give the job time.  Then slowly figure it out. Figure what I want. Figure out if this job gives me that. However, I am also so afraid of wasting time. Wasting time in a job that I don't want at the end of the day. I hate wasting time. I want to start right. But then again, what is starting right? I know I am just being paranoid. But hey. This is how I feel. I know I need to deal with it. And I will.  So yea.