The Tales of Carmensakura

I know I'm still very young and I don't have much wisdom yet. But I guess I'm in the mood for sharing whatever little wisdom I have. So here goes. And please do forgive me if I sound preachy. You have a right to not listen and to complete disagree. This is all just my humble opinions. Coming from an Asian home, tertiary education is very important. Our parents just wants us to go to University and get a degree. Nothing wrong with that. But I just want to say, do not do it just because you want to get a degree so that you can get a job. Take that mindset, throw it in the dustbins. No. Do not get a degree for the sake of a job. Get a degree because you want an education. So go learn what you want to learn. What you are passionate about. Even if everyone around tells you it's crap or that it won't make money. I really am a big believer of go do whatever you love. Because I believe in your personal happiness comes first. But of course, if you va...

I managed to find a new job. Finally. All the stress and frustration that I have been having for the past few months melted away with the job offer at hand. Was it the job that I initially wanted? No, not really. But to be honest, looking at it now, it's not a bad offer. In fact, this might actually be better for me than the job that I initially wanted.  I do admit that it took me a while to figure out what I wanted career wise and also to fully accept that my university days are over. I do sometimes wonder why I take so long to get used to things or transition into a new part of life. But it's just how I function. Of course, I'll do my best to try to get used to things faster. But I must admit that when I just got out of University and when I got my first job, I was not prepared mentally. I was still missing my University life and most of all, I didn't give myself a break to shift my mental state. Most of all, I was confused and I wasn't exac...

I have never written a letter for my future self here before so I'm going to do it. Dear future me, I don't know what the future holds. But I hope you look back often with a smile and a laugh. I hope when you look back, you think of me as a young child, yet to learn many things. All I have going for me is blind optimism. And I hope one day, we'll get to where we want to. I hope we will be sitting tall, sipping our whiskey in our lovely dream apartment, surrounded by ikea furniture. Or maybe my taste would have changed. I don't know. But I just hope I grow up to be the person that I want to be. I hope when you look back, you can look me in the eye and smirk. Smirk because only you know the challenges ahead but you know it will make you who you need to be. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on you. And I'm sorry. But I only want the best for myself just as you do. And onwards to the future I go. I just hope it will be as good as ...

Lately, my fear has been loud again. I'm still on my job hunt. and my fear just keeps yelling at me what if you don't find a job what if no one wants you And it's scary. I don't come from a family where money is ever flowing The thought that I would be incomeless is scary to me suddenly. Because it means, whatever it is I planned for my financial goals come to a stop now. I'm not sure if the job industry is hard or if I'm looking at the wrong jobs. But yes, I'm scared. I told myself to stop whining and fearing. I told myself to not speak negatively. And although I say nothing to people. This is still my general feeling. I'm beginning to feel tired and scared. But then again, I remember one thing about myself. I have alot of fears. I have always been a fearful child. And although I'm absolutely afraid right now, I keep telling myself that I won't settle. No. I won't. I will still do my best. After all,...