Adult?

I think being an adult is definitely interesting.
I wouldn't say I'm an adult adult because sometimes I truly do feel like a child. Confused, not knowledgeable and afraid.

It's been a year since I graduated.
And yet, so much has happened in a year.

Let's go back to high school first.
I must admit there is one thing I do miss about high school and that's having loads of time to explore what I wanted.
Despite wanting to grow up quickly to escape the boring conundrum of a routine high school life, when I look back now, it's what I miss.

In high school, it was okay to not know what you want. After all, you had the excuse of being young. 
In high school, it was okay to throw your fist in the air, being frustrated and rebelling against the system. After all, you're young. This is the best time to do this.

The high school routine gave me a comfort of having something to do and not thinking much about it because everyone did it. I hate to admit this but looking back, I realise this.

But despite missing the more relaxed, no stakes involved high school life, I am glad I am here now.

I wouldn't say I know exactly what I'm doing.
I wouldn't say I'm real adult yet because I stumble, get confused and I'm still learning.

But being adult does have its perks.

One, you are in control of your life.
But that's also the disadvantage.
If you don't know where you want to go and what you want to do, it's a heavy responsibility. And it gets scary.

But it's also beautiful because it means, you can go where you want. Just go. 

Just because I'm older now doesn't mean I know what I want. I'm still figuring it out and learning. And it's okay. 

As for rebelling. At the age now, you can finally stand up and actually do something in the things you believe in. 

Being an adult isn't always bad.

But is it hard? 
Yes.

Because I am fully responsible for my life now.

And I have to steer it to where I want to.

Being an adult is like having a sailboat and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean. 
You can either go on and adventure

Or let the ocean kick you around.

High school on the other hand is, having a boat in a lake. It's where you are learning to sail.

But when you're an adult, you already have a sail. Whether or not it's any good, that depends on you.

Being an adult isn't all bad nor is it all good.

But I have always been someone who looks towards the future.

Thus, it's just good to finally reach a point where I am actually really building my future.

I continue to look forward to my future and see what it has in store for me.