My perspective on adulthood

This might be a long one and I am sorry.

I don't think adulthood is really that bad. 
But despite that, I won't say it wasn't hard.

As I have said before, last year wasn't a great year for me.
I was angry, upset and frustrated.
I was full of anxiety and fear.
I was a complete nervous wreck.

But that was because I was definitely focusing on the wrong things.
I was only looking at my unfortunate circumstances
And how they were disadvantage.

Compared to other privileged people, I was behind.
It felt like I had weights in a marathon race.
I was angry.
And it was easier to blame the world.

But as time goes by, anger just wears you down.
And I was getting emotionally tired.
Somehow, my rationality kicked in.
 And that changed my entire perspective.

I begun to realise that my circumstances didn't define me.
I begun to realise that just because I had weights tied to me, doesn't mean I can't slowly build the stamina to run just as fast.
Yes, I will take a longer time.
Yes, it will be hard.
But I will make it.

And I realise that I have everything I need.

And now as time passes, I am beginning to enjoy adulthood.

What exactly do I like about adulthood?

I like the feeling of building my own life.

I am working on my own financials.
I am working on my own behavior.
I am working on myself generally.

I am trying to be the person I want to be.

And I just started the journey.

It's exciting even if it's the first step.

And this is something I like about adulthood.

You can ignore what people say if you think it makes no sense
You don't have to listen to nonsense you don't believe in anymore.
You can stand up for yourself and say no, this is what I plan to do.

It's taking charge of your life.

And I absolutely adore it.

As children, although we could work to be the person that we want to be, but it was so limited.
Adults still told us what to do and if we didn't obey, we were considered rude.
But now, although some might still think you're rude but it doesn't matter anymore.

When I was younger, although I improved myself, I still have a long way more to go. And when I was younger, I was such a crap person that I was no where at the person I want to be.

But now, it actually feels feasible.
And so, there's this feeling of excitement.

Of course, adulthood isn't always fun. Sometimes my anxiety hits and I don't know why. And I wouldn't know what to do.
But I have to try to ride them out anyway.

And just because you are adult doesn't mean you grow out of the things you love as a child or that the child in you died.

To be honest, I will always feel like a child. But no matter.

As long as I am true to myself, I don't mind.

I guess what matters to me is that I be the person that I want to be.
I am my authentic self.

I been working towards that for years.
And now, I have gotten very comfortable in my skin but of course, I still have a long way to go and I look forward to that.