Rift

Today, I did my taxes.
I did it online.
So all I have is the softcopy that I saved in my pendrive.

My parents told me that I should print it out.
As a young person who has kept everything in my pendrive, I literally don't get it.
So I said I wasn't going to print.
And that sparked an argument.
It was literally a pointless argument.
If only they stated their point better.
If only I was less angry.

My parents also scolded me to stop cursing.
And that annoyed me.

It's obvious that a rift is going sometimes.
A divergence in values and thought processes.

And it's going to be tiring for me.
Because I know I won't comply.
And they will want me to.
Maybe even force me.

And I hate it when they use threats to force me to comply.

And it's not a simple threat.

It's the threat of a cut in family ties.

It's always that same threat.

I hate it.

Because honestly, I do care for them.

But I have my own way of living.

I understand that they are trying to protect me.
Help me make less mistakes.

But look, I'm not that kind of person.
I hate being threatened and I hate being told what to do.
I hate all of that.

Let me make my mistakes.
Let me lie in the bed I make.
Even if it's full of thorns.
Even if it's going to be full regrets.

Just let me.

Because this is my life.

I get that they care.

But sometimes, I just wish that they stop. 

I wish that they left me alone more often.
I wish that they didn't care so much.

And another argument is bubbling.

But I am already tired out by two earlier arguments so I just stated I personally disagreed. That's all. 

Some days like this, I have to admit that I don't really know how to handle this. 

So you know what, I'm not going to handle it.
I'm just going to sit and try to stay quiet.

Because when I'm angry, I usually say things that I regret.
So I'm going to say nothing