Regrets.

I was reading a book.

And it made me think of my regrets.

I always said, live with no regrets.

Although I say that, it doesn't mean I have no regrets.
I do.
But time passes and those regrets turn into lessons.
And in a way, there's no regrets because now you know what you should or shouldn't do.

But if I could go back in time, 
what would I say to my past self?

It may or may not change things.
But atleast I said it.

I would say, 

1. Stop caring what others think.
This would be a surprise to most people who knew me because I always gave the impression that I didn't care.
But that's a blatant lie. I did care.
But I acted like I didn't care.
I acted like it didn't hurt.
But it did.
Terribly so.
But as Tyrion from Game of Thrones, I wore it like an armour. 
I didn't write because someone told me that it sucked. And true, it sucked. But practice leads to improvements. 
And my biggest regret is that I didn't write as much as I could because I cared about what they say.

2. Don't limit yourself. Get out of the box. Destroy it. Burn it.
Although I always told people that they could do whatever they want, I always say it is possible. 
I always shouted that from the rooftop.
And although I said it, I myself, didn't truly practice this.
I stayed in the box despite everything.
I laid limitations in my head.
And if I could go back in time, I would yell, DESTROY THOSE LIMITS.
Because they don't exist.
But had I destroyed it, my life could be completely different.

3. Don't be an arrogant little prick
I was an arrogant little prick.
But I suppose that was because my self esteem was being corroded by bullying "friends" so this was my defence.
But I wished I wasn't like that.
I wished I allowed myself to be me.
I wished I smiled and told them I didn't care and I truly didn't care.
But youth are what youth are and I did care.

4. Embrace that emotional edge.
I have always been an emotional whirlwind.
I always knew if I wanted to be corrupted, I could.
I always stood on that edge.
And although over the years, I stabilised and learnt how to wield my emotions as a weapon instead.
But I will never deny my emotions.
It's insane.
But honey, it's way more fun that way anyway.
Who needs drugs when you're high 95% of the time anyway. HAHA

5. You should have never waited.
I was always waiting to grow up.
Waiting for adulthood.
Because then, I'll show what I'm made off.
I wish I didn't.
I wish I showed off then.
I wish I chased more and harder.
But I didn't.
And although I didn't, I don't quite mind.
Because I learnt how to chill.
But sometimes, some days, I wished I didn't. 

Well, time has moved forward.
I am an adult now.
And although I chose the safer road for now.  
We'll see what happens.

Maybe the future me has advices for me currently.
But we'll never know until that time has passed.
So yea.