High School

I have been hanging out with some high school friends lately and because of that, it has made me think about that time.

As I spoke to my high school friends, I can tell that their memories and mine were a little different.

To be honest, if you asked me, if I ever want to return to my high school times, the answer would most probably be no. 

High school.

It was an interesting time. It was filled with bittersweet memories. It was youth at its maximum and for me, it meant that I was highly unstable and emotional.  

To be honest, when I was in high school, my attitude towards school was definitely hostile. I just felt like I was wasting my time. So I didn't take my studies seriously. I played devils advocate in school discussions because I just felt like it. I broke some rules just to prove that the school wasn't the boss of me.

I was young, immature and most of all, confused.

The strongest memory I have of high school was when I was 14. It was a time when tempers flared, drama ensued and every week just felt like torture.

I didn't fit in much in high school. I was different and very uncool. It wasn't easy for me. That was for sure.

And alot of issues and drama happened with that. Yes, I was bullied and all. Yes, I spent many hours, hiding in secret enclaves and just crying there. 

But not every memory is bad.

I eventually found a group of people that I found a home in. 

And I learnt so much during these times, especially about myself.

Although eventually, I regret over the lost of some friendships from this times.

I find that my high school times helped me to become who I am today.

Though, I must admit that occasionally, I do miss my past self who had naivete and the innocence of youth.

But that's in the past and we must all move on. Plus, I do like what I have become today. 

Is it crazy to say that who I am today is both similar and very different from who I was in high school?

Is it crazy to say that I'm both the more polished version of my high school self but yet, I'm still filled with potential just like my high school self?

And although I'm still in contact with some high school friends, I wonder if their perception of me has changed?

Because while I'm the same person, I'm also not the same person. 

I guess I have grown.

And I wonder if they see me as such?

It's just a thought. Not that it means anything.

Because I'm sure my own high school friends have grown. And maybe it's me who sees them in the outdated perspective because I'm wearing old lenses.  

Or maybe none of these matters and I'm just thinking too much. 

Who knows.