The Tales of Carmensakura

With 2019 being a sucky year for me, I'm really trying hard to avoid that this year. But the start of the new year was definitely rushed for me. Chinese New Year was at the end of January and so, there were things that I needed to do during that period such as cleaning up and preparing for the Chinese New Year. Then it ended. And now, even February have passed. So far, I have atleast started on three goals which are starting an exercise routine, reading and starting to cook. So that's good. Atleast I started on those. To be honest, despite atleast starting those. I am still struggling. I find time just going past so fast and I will just turn around going, man what have I done? It's hard. It's hard balancing just resting and getting things done. It feels like that there isn't enough time. I guess I am afraid that if I fall into this stagnant phase where I just live day by day. Working and just rotting at home by watching tv. Maybe I'm ...

Yea, it's been a long time since I updated this blog and I apologise. Anyway, it's 2020. When I was a kid, I used to think this was long time into the future. But alas, my maths suck and in reality, it isn't that long. Honestly, 2019 was a shitty ass year for me. So I'm really hoping for 2020 to be alot better. I think with my age catching up. (3 more years to the big 30) , I feel pressured. I feel as if, I'm not enough. Not rich enough. Not smart enough. Not successful enough.  This pressure feels terrible. And it was the main reason why I felt so restless in 2019. It was also a huge reason why I ended up doing nothing. Paralyzed by the pressure that overwhelms me. And that's why I intend to start 2020 better. January has ended.  And so far, I think I started off alright. Not great but it was alot better compared to last year. To be honest, there's alot of thoughts going in my mind and I just need to figure that out as well....