Covid19 lockdown

I haven't blogged in a while because I kinda forgot to blog. Plus, I found it hard to blog lately.

I used to use blogging as an online journal but lately, I found out that when I blogged now, it was usually the polished version of my thoughts which made it feel a little fake. So because of that, I stopped for a while. I thought it would be better to be writing in my real journal where I could be real and raw. Get as ugly as I can.

I don't think I can ever be as real and raw here. It feels too exposed here because everyone in the internet can read it. Although that's unlikely because I don't get much hits here though.

Anyway, I thought I should blog in these monumental times because what's happening today is unprecedented. It's in a way, history in the making.

Anyway, thanks to the Covid19, my country is in lockdown. Unfortunately for me, I don't feel much of the effects because I still go to work. I work in the essential services so I'm allowed to go to work.

Honestly, this whole covid19 has made me anxious. I can feel myself being restless. I keep checking social media, looking out for the news. But the news is never good for now. The infections increases.

Going to work makes me slightly fearful because I wonder if I'm going to catch it. But all I can do is maintain a good hygiene and hope for the best.

Working helps to keep my mind of it a bit because I have something to focus on.

Another way of relieving my mind from all this is to escape it by watching shows. That way, I immerse myself in something else. Let my mind get preoccupied with something else. 

It's been a while since I watched a show and let myself get immersed into it. I realised that I'm someone who gets immersed into shows very easily. I will want to discuss about it. I would want to throw tantrums if it doesn't go well for the characters that I like or if the shows go with a shitty plot later on.

Another thing that I do is that I been using these apps that are helpful with mental health. I have a mood tracker app and another app (I don't really know what to call it). It's been relatively helpful.

I really hope the covid19 dies down soon.