Money Mentality

To be honest, although I studied Economics as my major, I don't exactly have the best mentality when it comes to money sometimes.

It's something that I really struggled with.

I know for a fact that money is a tool. It won't give me happiness but at the same time, not having it, I know it will definitely make my life hard because I need to live. 

Personally, I flip flop between saving as much as possible to #YOLO and hence spending a fair bit. 

The saving as much as possible was good for my bank account. But I have to admit that I felt a little jealous at times when I see people spending and enjoying their life. Because I want that but to keep the saving that I wanted, I couldn't do that. So it did feel restrictive.

To be honest, I spent one year, just spending on necessities which was food and rent. It was hard but I managed. But to be fair, my first job salary wasn't exactly the best so even after food and rent, the amount I managed to save was just meh. But it was my best.

Then, there's the times where I switch to #YOLO and just spend. I wouldn't say that my spending go crazy. But I buy bigger ticket items. And I try to reason them out because well, I want them.

This thinking was not really that good for my bank account. I didn't wipe out alot but I'm losing out my savings. So it makes me upset sometimes. Like if I didn't buy this, I would have XX amount still in here.

But it's nuts because I do enjoy the items that I bought or the experiences it gave me.

However, lately, I found that, I think I finally found the acceptance. The acceptance sometimes I will spend on things and that's okay. The acceptance that I do my best in saving and that although it's not as much as some other people, it's okay. It's my best. The acceptance that this is my financial journey. It may be slow or fast or whatever. But it's mine and it's okay. That it's all going to be okay.

So I breathe easier now.

It's okay. I got this.

I know that my money mentality is better because recently, I purchased a macbook pro. 

I'm still waiting for it to be delivered.

But I found that I wasn't beating myself up.

If anything, I was just excited about it.

Like, I can't believe I bought it.

I mean, I have always wanted it but have just shrugged it off as no go because well, the price is pretty insane. 

But there was no thoughts of anger or regret or even guilt.

I like that and that's how I realised that my money mentality was probably better.

I found that I didn't even try to justify the purchase to myself.

If anything, it just felt like something that I always wanted but been holding it off and now, the thought of having it just makes me so giddy and happy.

I look to my iphone 11. And yea, I realise that I didn't fully utilise it but it's been more than 6 months and what do I think?

Personally, I love my phone. Every day, I look at it and I just love it.

And I realise that, as long as I'm not breaking the bank account too much and if the purchase is something that's gonna be useful to me or even make me happy, then that's fine.

It's okay.

It's gonna be okay.

Maybe I won't be rich as shit but hey, atleast I'm enjoying my life the best I can. Or maybe I will. Who knows man. The world is an insane place sometimes.

So anyway, moral of the story, everyone has their own thing and their own way of living and it's okay how you wanna spend your money. But please do know what you're doing. 

I don't believe in spending more than you earn. 

But if you can afford the purchase, that's a different story.