The Tales of Carmensakura

Like usual, it is a week filled with ups and downs. It was an alright week. Well, I have nothing much to say but that. So instead, enjoy this cute little video that can brighten up any day & put a smile on your face. It definitely made me smile. So hopefully, it will make you smile too.  

Well, life is full of up and down. Even in one week. Before my school started, I went on a one day trip to a hill where there is a japanese garden and a french themed place. I had a nice lunch. YUM. So, this really motivated me. And it reminded that this is my life. I can achieve anything I want. Yes, things may not be great now but that doesn't mean that they are impossible. I can do this. I can do all the things I want. I don't have to wait for the right moment because there isn't one. I can do this now. Since this is my life, I have to live it. I have to live it to the fullest. Then, university started. Things got rough because there were long lectures, difficult things that needed understanding and thick textbooks that require reading. And it is frustrating because it feels like there isn't enough time in the world. I got scared. What if I can't do this? But then, I stop myself right there. This is what I wanted. I will have ...

I just want to live. I just want to be happy. I just want to do everything so that I don't regret anything ever. But I can't. I can't do everything. It's simply not possible. Well, that's how I feel currently anyway. I feel extremely tired and frustrated. This two weeks were suppose to be a holiday for me but they were the worse holiday ever. WHY? I still had Sociology classes on Monday & Tuesday. So that took up a lot of time and energy. I wanted to write but I couldn't come up with anything good. I wanted to watch anime but time just feels wasted. I wanted to relax but my mind is pacing everywhere. I wanted to read but my mind couldn't enter the worlds. I wanted to study but I feel so tired. I wanted to exercise but my body felt heavy. I wanted to eat but I felt fat. I did these things in bits and pieces. And so, it felt unproductive and a waste of time. So yea. I have only felt frustrated lately. It's sad, really. ...

Sometimes, it's not about the words you say. It's about understanding. All we need in life, sometimes, is to know that they are people who would catch you when you fall and hold your hand when you cry. You just want someone to be there for you and to tell you that everything would be alright. And I am so thankful that I have friends who have been there for me. And I really, really want to repay them back by being there for them. I had "friends" last time that said that, "If you don't tell me that you are in trouble, how in the world would I know?" And I remember how that made me so mad. Because if you were my friend, you would know that I don't like telling my problems freely. I just don't because I don't want to burden or annoy you with my problems. The friends that I thought would be there for me, weren't. But the friends that I never thought would be there for me were and I am so damn thankful. Li...

Imagine that, you had to choose which path you want to take to reach a destination. So, you thought hard while trying to listen to your heart and seeking out advises.  Finally, you came to a conclusion and thus, you chose a path.  You are proud of your decision because it's the path you wanted. You start walking. After quite a long while, fear creeps in and doubts comes. The path ahead seems dark and tiring. You start to wonder if you made a wrong decision. Did you choose the wrong path? Right now, everything just feels so wrong. You are scared.  What if this path wasn't for you?  What if it's too hard?  But you made this decision, why change it?  And suddenly you realize, you don't even really know what you want anymore. You are wondering if you should run back to the beginning and then, decide from the very beginning. Choose a whole new path, an easier path.  But if you do that, you waste time and perhaps money. You feel...

Imagine that your college is in place A. And that's where you are studying. Then, people tells you that, for one subject, since you are the only one taking that subject, you will have to go all the way to place B to study it. They say, don't worry. They'll pay for transport. And make sure that your timetable subjects in place A don't clash with timetable subject in place B. Well, this is what I am experiencing for the subject Sociology. Personally, I didn't have much problems with it except for a dislike of having to travel to two different places to study. Then, I attended my first class for Sociology.  That was when I realized I absolutely HATED this idea. 1. The holidays clash.   So that means if I'm on holiday for place A, I'm not on holiday for place B. 2. Group discussions.  For place A, since I'm there for three subjects, it's not a problem to have group discussions. I mean, I see those classmates more often and I have t...

Ever since I wrote Coeur Noir, I felt so much better regarding my "childhood" friend. Everything I wanted to say and needed to say was in that story. I felt liberated and finally, I could move on. And for a while, I was moving on. I was doing well. And I was happy. Then, she posted her twitter account on facebook. Something that she never does because her twitter account is locked. So, it's pointless to post it on facebook because you can't see a thing. It's like she wanted the world to know that she locked her twitter account and that she also wants me to know that I am locked out even though, in the past, I was not. What? Does she want me to call her up or text her to ask her why she blocked me on twitter? Nope. Not gonna do that.  I wrote Coeur Noir. So if you want a reply, read that. And today, her name appeared on one of my communication chat as recommended friends to add. I laughed out, HAHA. NO. JUST NO. And deleted that notification. ...