Internship week 2

I guess this is where you can say being an intern in a small firm is good. The reason for this is because they actually make you do real things.

As an intern, I was expecting to be the coffee carrier, file arranger and photostating person.
But to my surprise, I am actually auditing right now. I know I am in the audit department but I didn't expect to actually audit.

Well, they give me the easier companies to do.

Nonetheless, it's still complicated because I have never audited before. So all this is really really new to me.

I guess being an intern is challenging because you are staring at unfamilliar things and they expect you to know and do things. But I'm just staring at it and going, ummm....now, what?

I would prefer preparing the whole accounts by scratch than to audit because it's actually very complicated and tedious.

But the good thing about being an intern is that I am definitely challenging myself. Personally, I admit that I am a person who has a hard time accepting new things at times. All this is new to me. So it's unfamilliar. A huge part of me is internally screaming because it's hard and I really don't want to do it.

I just don't want to screw up and look like a fool. I want something easier.
But having easier things is silly because it means I am not learning.

So I have to fight the internal battles I have in my head. I have to keep telling myself to focus and to let myself take things one step at a time.

My senior is a nice person but the problem is she goes off so fast and she expects to understand her immediately. But I don't. My brain needs time processing this.

So now I know that in the future, my first job might be rough in the beginning because I'm still learning the ropes because the real working world is different from the theories we learn in our textbook. I learnt accounting but not auditing though. So all this is both foreign and yet not foreign to me.

But if I can handle this internship, it only goes to show I can handle anything in the future.
I'm glad that I chose to do internship because now I get a taste of what the future may be so I can prepare myself.

I know my internship is relatively short and I might still be very bad at auditing even when my internship ends. But no matter. What matters is that all of this is a learning experience.

I have forgotten what it's like to fight off my internal screaming and now I am remembering. It's hard but I can do this. 
I'm not going to give up no matter how much I just want to flip tables.