The Tales of Carmensakura

Yes, another rant. What is that rant? I need more internet time. My current time is not nearly enough for me to blog, check emails, watch anime, take personality quizzes & just surf the internet. I don't even have enough time to watch the anime that I want to and I currently only have 3.  What the actual shit?! Anyhow, my internet time is running out. Gotta go. Until next week then.

Overwhelmed. Stressed. Tired. Angry. Frustrated. Isolated. Alone. Just a few words to describe how I feel right now. Why? Well, I seemed to be surrounded by work and it's annoying that I am not on top of it. So yea. I do have some backlog work or that I can't do some tutorials due to my inability to solve them. And that annoys me. Trying to balance work and a social life isn't easy one damn bit.  Events clashing, money leaving my pocket, undone work. It's like everything is spinning out of control and it's so confusing. And it sucks. Life would have been so much more simpler if I wasn't so greedy. But I am greedy and I want it all. And I will be damned if I don't try my best. So yea. By the way, lately, I miss my pre-university days because atleast then, I had a group of dependent awesome friends. Now, in university, everyone is just an acquaintance. They are nice but I am not particularly close to ...

Yup. I have nothing to say. Why? Hmm....nothing much is going on in my life except the same old, same old, studies and trying to have a social life. Hmm....maybe, I been focusing a little too much on anime lately. Oh well. A little entertainment didn't kill anyone. hehehe. Ah, November is coming. Do you know what that means? YES, NANOWRIMO IS COMING. AND I AM EXCITED. What is NANOWRIMO? Na tional No vel Wri ting Mo nth. Most people are thinking up new brilliant stories, having crazy awesome wordcount goals or dreaming up new characters. But for this year's nanowrimo, none of that is my goal. My goal currently is just one thing, TO FINISH MY UNFINISHED NOVEL. I just want to finish it.  I want to prove to myself that I can finish something. So yea. NANOWRIMO, here, I come. Guess, I do have something to say. LOL.

I am not quite sure how I feel. It's conflicting and contrasting. I feel happy and yet sad. I feel camaraderie and yet alone. I feel hopeful yet hopeless. Sometimes, I ask myself if I made mistake. And on other times, I know I haven't. So, my emotions are just stirring and I am rather confused. And that is all I can say. 

I won't lie. There are days where I miss them immensely.  Who do I miss? A group of high school friends that accepted me for who I am, no matter how broken I was. I miss this particular group immensely because the group is now in pieces.  We were no where as close as what we were in the past. We may talk. Or some of us don't even talk. But it's not the same. What used to be close companionship was replaced by misunderstanding. And then, that was replaced by us simply moving on with our lives. And it makes me sad. I regret not appreciating those moments more. I regret taking them for granted. I regret ever hurting them. I mean, I understand and accept that this is the situation. But that doesn't mean I don't miss them. Because I do. And sometimes, I wish, so much, that we could return to those moments. However, as much as the group is in pieces, it doesn't mean that it will be in pieces forever. It can be f...

Watching the latest Iphone advertisement and I realized that as much as I love Apple and their Iphones, I would not buy the latest Iphone. WHY? It's just a phone. And it's definitely overpriced. If it was cheaper, then, I wouldn't mind getting an Iphone. But from where I come from, Apple Iphones are expensive. Almost 2000 bucks. Yup. Not worth it. Eventhough it looks so beautiful and awesome. So, I told myself, it's not worth it and to forget it. And then, the IOS 7 came out. And I thought it looked beautiful until I saw the video above. It's a ripoff. IOS 7 is just a combination of Windows Phone 8 and Android. So yea. Obviously, I am not going to get an Iphone. And this video above explains what I feel about Iphone right now. Because it's true. LOL.

well, things have been hectic. The classes are longer and more challenging. And the exercises given feel like a mental Olympic challenge. Each day, after class feels mentally taxing. So no. Things aren't easy. It's hard and hectic. And I do feel overwhelmed. But at the same time, there is a little pleasure that comes with it. I have always loved being busy and productive. It makes me rather happy. So as hard and hectic as things are, I am also enjoying myself. I thought A-levels was tough. And wow, degree is much harder. It is non-stop work. Well, I am trying to balance everything out as I want to play and study at the same time. That's my goal. And it's not gonna be easy but I am going to try and do my best. I miss my buddies in A-levels very much though. Here, I am not quite close to anyone. Instead, I am on good terms with everyone and I hang out with whoever happens to sit with that day. I am cool with everyone. But I miss the deep connection kind of frien...