The Tales of Carmensakura

I been a little lazy and demotivated recently when it comes to my studies. And it doesn't help that I was a little upset because I got rejected from a firm that I wanted to intern in. So overall, I wasn't feeling great. I decided to get my nails painted.  And honestly, that's a huge booster to me.  I have only painted my nails black before but this time, I decided to paint it in a different color but it's still a dark color. It's interesting that people are surprised by the fact that I like to get my nails painted in dark colors.  Personally, I don't understand that. I had a friend who said that painting nails black makes it looks like a monster. I found what she said interesting. Why? Because the reason why I paint my nails black or dark colors is because it makes me feel powerful.  Yes, it looks like a monster. But I feel like a powerful monster that will bite your head off if you cross me. I feel confident. I feel like the boss. I feel ...

I have always been interested in what people think about me. I have always been curious in how they see me.  Because I can't see myself through their eyes. It'll be one point of view that I'll never be able to experience. So the only best alternative is to ask people and get their opinion of me. Some people thinks that by asking these questions, I am annoying. I don't mind being called annoying because that's not quite false either because sometimes, I know I am annoying. hahaha But some people have said that because I asked these questions, I come across as a person who doesn't know myself. I find that hilarious because I do myself but I am doing this because I want to know more about myself. And sometimes, through this, I get to learn more about myself. Even I have to admit that I don't myself completely. I am complex with many many layers and you can never stop learning about yourself because I am constantly changing. So I find it inter...

I know that the world is a diverse place.  Since it is a diverse place, I understand that there will be a variety of people with their own different set of thoughts. But recently, people have been saying things to me that sort of pisses me off.  It's not what they said was rude or anything. But sometimes, what they say is unbelievably small minded and it blows my mind that there are people like them around and that I actually know them. I don't say anything to them because I don't want to be rude. But it left a little angry for a while. However, it is pointless to be angry at something so silly. Plus those people who said it don't mean any harm. I'm not mad at them per se. I am just mad that they actually think that way. But since people are entitled to their own thoughts and opinions, I have no right to be mad or anything. I should just accept that different people have different thoughts and I should respect them even if they s...

Because of the chinese new year holidays, I have been relatively lazy. And I shouldn't be. My exams are in two months time. So it's time to buck up and go full gear. It doesn't help that my head and heart are not in a focused point.  I am too busy thinking about something else that is not exam related. And I should stop. Anyhow, it's just time I get up and go for my exams!!

I have taken so many personality quizzes in my life but my favourite has always been the Myers-Briggs personality quiz. You can take the quiz here . Or you can google it and find a more accurate one according to your taste. Your choice. I have found the Myers-Briggs personality quiz to be the easiest to take and the results are quite accurate. Not only that, the results are understandable too. Harder ones are sometimes too complicated but I love those too. Anyhow, I am an ENFP. In some ways, it's quite true. I am that way, in some sense. But of course, I have to remember that the personality type result is not everything. I am more than just an ENFP. I am also a person.  But having a personality type result do help to explain alot of things and make  you feel less alone at times. lol. Anyhow, as an ENFP, we have a major problem at times. We are both feeling and intuitive. So that means, we are good at perceiving things and noticing little details of people. We...

Recently, I visited a friend in a hospital with other friends because she had dengue fever. As I visited her in the hospital, all of a sudden, I felt very grown up.  Maybe, it's because most of my university classmates are turning 21 this year and I can tell that some of them takes it seriously. They do throw parties and such. I turned 21 last year however, it never quite mean anything to me because I didn't have time to think about it. I had to focus on my exams and so that drowned out all thoughts about turning 21. Even though I did turn 21 and that was supposed to signify that I have now become a grown up but I never quite felt like an adult. Well, I wouldn't say that I feel like a child or a teenager. But I feel like I am in between the transition of a teenager and an adult. I am neither here or there. And at first, I did feel left out because through facebook, I could see that most of my high school classmates have grown into adults through their dressings...

Music conveys a lot. And for me, there's often a few songs that I relate to or managed to say a situation that I went through before really well. I just found a song that managed to say a situation that I felt before really well. A song that I really connected to on a spiritual level. I haven't found a song that ever talked about a situation like this before so this song is the first and it suits it really well too. I embedded the video here. However, do ignore the video because it is a little weird. Even I can't watch it. I just listen to the music but ignore the video completely. I am going to paste the translation lyrics here. The seasons die out, one after another; the voice of death becomes wind A man not susceptible to the charms of the city looks up at the moon and notices how unrefined it all is. In a life stuck in mud, the rain itself tastes of alcohol With eyes filled with apathy as they wander the city, I’m an innocent man acting suspiciousl...