The Tales of Carmensakura

I know I'm one of the rare ones who have said that I enjoy adulthood.  As I said before, I enjoy the freedom of being able to steer your life to where you want it to go. Of course, the question would be to decide where you want to go? And honestly, I haven't quite decided. I really need to get that sorted out. Honestly, although I personally do like adulthood, some parts of it is definitely tough. The other day, someone said that I should start planning for next year and what I want to do? And what I want to learn? I always find that as an adult, time is a very valuable resource. But despite saying that, I end up wasting it anyway sometimes.  I admit that there is so many things I want to learn and do. And sometimes I end up not doing anything because I'm just so overwhelmed. Honestly, I don't want to choose sometimes. Because it means tossing away the other possibilities which I want I guess. I know, we can't always have it all.  But sometimes, I r...

I have been hanging out with some high school friends lately and because of that, it has made me think about that time. As I spoke to my high school friends, I can tell that their memories and mine were a little different. To be honest, if you asked me, if I ever want to return to my high school times, the answer would most probably be no.  High school. It was an interesting time. It was filled with bittersweet memories. It was youth at its maximum and for me, it meant that I was highly unstable and emotional.   To be honest, when I was in high school, my attitude towards school was definitely hostile. I just felt like I was wasting my time. So I didn't take my studies seriously. I played devils advocate in school discussions because I just felt like it. I broke some rules just to prove that the school wasn't the boss of me. I was young, immature and most of all, confused. The strongest memory I have of high school was when I was 14. It was a time when t...

"All I see is Green Lights. All I spit is real life. Bet you don't know what that's like. - NF" I was just thinking about where I am and my life. And this song by NF just plays in my head and honestly, that's how I feel.    I just got started with my journey with life. I know that I been alive for 25 years now but it only truly felt like it started about a year back.  And I did enjoy being an adult because although it was tiring and confusing, I like the idea of being able to do what you want. To be able to sit in the front seat with your hands on the steering wheel. To be the one in charge of your life.  I admit that I was confused, scared and filled with pride. I wanted everything and yet I was scared of everything. I was impatient. I wanted the world and yet, I didn't want to put in the effort at first because I was afraid of failure. And for a moment, I was worried that if I chose a path, I had to be committed to it and what if that path suck...

I must admit that travelling isn't exactly my priority in life. But once in a while, my wanderlust hit me and I go travelling.  I still remember the days when I was in Alevels and all I wanted to do at that moment was to take a train to nowhere. In the sense of traveling, that hasn't changed. I enjoy just setting out and going somewhere. Where? I don't really know or care sometimes. But it would be good if the place is foreign. As in, a culture or a land I know pretty much nothing about. Anyway, my wanderlust hit me and I ended up in Hanoi.  Honestly, I fell in love with that charming city.  I love the hustle and bustle. The constant stream of people and noises. The narrow streets.  Maybe it's because I was born and bred in the city. But I have always enjoyed the city and its busy streets. There's a pulse about cities. And every city's pulse is different. And what makes a city alive is always its people.  Same earth. Dif...

The Apple Keynote 2018 just happened a few days ago. Being an apple fan, I must watch it and pay attention to it. What do I feel about? Let's start. First of all, I love the Apple Watch Series 4. I personally think it's amazing that it'll be able to do an ECG (Electrocardiogram). That's really cool. It's really for those health lovers to watch over their heart activity. I like that you can get a pdf of it so that you can consult your doctor for more information. I know the cellular feature for the Apple Watch has been available since last year. However, I just find it upsetting that it's not available in my country and probably would never be available ever. It almost makes me want to move just so I get that feature but unfortunately, I'm unable to. And then, there's the iPhone. To be honest, it is disappointing.  There's literally nothing new about the latest iPhone. Yes, the display is bigger and better. Well, duh. You don't ...

The other day, I was watching Boku No Hero Academia (My Hero Academia) and this particular scene hit me so hard. It reminded me of my graduation. Yes, I know it sounds unrelated but bear with me.  When All Might pointed to him, saying you're next. Deku knew it meant his time has come to an end as one of the best heroes ever and as the greatest symbol of peace. And Deku, being the inheritor of his power, knew that he had a heavy shoes to wear.  All Might just passed him the torch and Deku had a heavy expectation to fill. But despite that, it's one he will carry and wear with pride. I understand this. When I graduated, there's this sense of pride. I am the first in my family to graduate.  In that sense, I carried my family's expectation. Their hopes and dreams. Their fears and insecurities. I carried it all despite it's weight. If you closed your eyes, I could almost hear them say, "The world is your stage now. It's your turn. Show the world...

As I was struggling with my own thoughts, feelings and issues, this short story came to me in an inspiration. And it's been a while since I wrote like this so I decided to write it. After all, as a writer, our biggest fear is probably to never write again. To run out of muse. To be void of inspiration. So now that I have inspiration, I must use it. So that the inspiration will keep coming. Anyway, the short story is here. So here it is!